jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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