Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
