At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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