Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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