are you so shy because you have an std?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
