dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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