If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
