one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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