What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
