I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
