i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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