im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
