google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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