If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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