Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
