I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
