He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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