my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
