If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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