The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
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