I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
