so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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