Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
