we'll go far in life on tits alone.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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