Jerry, you need to find god
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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