I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
