did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
im holly from the hills drunk
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize