ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Your penis caused this!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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