This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
