Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
