You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
