True but thats because hes a fetus.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
