I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
