Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
