I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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