yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
