I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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