Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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