You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
