Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
