Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
