you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
