I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
