Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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