Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
