we have officially lost it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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