Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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