i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
