How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Randomize
