We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
