Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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