I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I need to stop coming to work sober
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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