Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
