I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
