I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
