so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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