Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize